Emotional intelligence, leadership… and Zidane

In 2006, there was one player dominating the football world… He carried the France national team during the entire World Cup campaign. Being at his best and considered the best player in the world back then... he was Zinedine Zidane… So, for the final game, France met Italy. It started merely with a penalty given for France, and Zizou scored with precision and grace. Italy pushed harder and managed to score for 1:1… Both teams slowed down the pace and played the rest of the official time without more goals. After the first extension, the final was slowly getting to penalties when Zidane and Materazzi (the Italian scorer) exchanged some ‘compliments’… and it led to the most famous headbutt in the football history. A red card ended the carrier of an amazing player… Even worse, Italy managed to secure the victory and the World Cup 2006, later that night.

Zidane’s story is a perfect example of how devastating emotional hijack could be, and how lacking in emotional intelligence (even for a moment) could lead to bitter consequences for you, your team and organization.

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14 years later, in 2020, Emotional intelligence (EI, EQ) is considered one of the top-most needed skills, along with ‘Complex problem solving’, ‘Critical thinking’, ‘Creativity’, and ‘Negotiation’. In fact, most companies embedded emotionally intelligent behavior in their values like: ‘value people’, ‘master teamwork’, ‘focus on client needs’, etc… And, the following are results of insignificant EI level:

• Poor internal alignment
• Burning unnecessary energy
• Unproductive conflict
• Inefficient leadership
• Low resilience
• Low engagement

If you still have doubts, testing your EI will help you identify the level of your maturity and the areas to improve. You can find a simple and extensive test over the link: How to lead with EI by Annie Mckee

The test covers both 'personal' and 'social' competencies, through the following chapters

• Self-awareness
• Positive outlook
• Self-control
• Adaptability
• Empathy

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An emotional hijack happens when the limbic systems take over your body. As a result, you might have any of the following:

When emotionally hijacked you would be in fight or flight mode and in case of non-life-threatening-event the possibility for poor decision and action would be very high. (just like in the story of Zidane).

Practicing an 'Emotional fire drill' could help you manage your triggers. To practice you need to

• Acknowledge how you feel and what triggers it
• Name your emotion
• Find the internal source of the emotion. Could be a belief, value or assumption
• Evaluate what the consequence could be
• Act in a way to avoid the trigger or introduce a change in the internal source

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It's highly recommended to look at the different leadership styles. Even better is watching amazing leaders and practitioners in order to improve yourself by 'analyzing' and ‘stealing’ elements of their styles. (many videos and analysis on Youtube)

• Tony Robbins
• Barack Obama
• Jordan Peterson
• Oprah Winfrey 
• Joe Rogan
• Donald Trump
• Elon Musk
• Ben Shapiro

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Imagine the following...
‘You are at the Oskar ceremony. The host says your name to receive an Oskar. You come out on stage, get it, deliver a speech. However, you are interrupted, and the host says there is a mistake: you shouldn’t have received it, another person won.’

Think about how you feel and what do you do?... Then watch Jordan Horowitz classy and impeccable reaction

And here is what happens when you are not so good at hiding your frustration :)))))

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• From passive to active: “It’s impossible” to “What small steps can I take?”
• From negative to positive: “I don’t want to do it as it makes me sad” to “Which part of it can make me feel happier?”
• From past to future: “I’ve never been good at it” to “If I were good at it, how would I do it?”
• From liability to an asset: “I’m so slow” to ”What benefits does being slow bring here?”
• From victimization to empowerment: “It always happens to me” to “What steps can I take to avoid it in the future?”

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The three steps of creating outstanding connections with people are

1. Attention (interest)
2. Attunement, mirroring
3. Empathy

The short video provides a good example of Empathy. Although, practicing it might be challenging enough, it could be even more difficult to get rid of the following empathy busters

• Solving the problem ('I’ll fix it', 'I’ll talk to her', 'I will do it')
• Unsolicited advice ('I think you should', 'If I were you', 'Why don’t you just')
• Dismissing feelings ('It’s not that big deal', 'You shouldn’t feel that way', 'Get over it')
• Sarcasm ('That’s such a tragedy', 'It’s just the end of the world', 'Boo, what a shame')

The amazing ability is to lead the others into positive actions, without offering solutions.

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The workshop is highly rated and the feedback very positive. Some of it below

“I loved everything about the Emotional Intelligence class. Hearing about emotional hijacking, how to be aware of it how to respond and manage it, triggers, and all the other topics gave me a new perspective on it overall. I loved the content and the practice, very easy to follow. The games and discussions we engaged in during class were also enjoyable. Wonderful class.”

“Such training is extremely useful for every Scrum Master. I wish I have attended this training years ago. I would encourage to make such trainings way more visible for everyone who has just picked up such responsibilities.”

“Simeon is a great trainer, actively encouraging participation from everyone. He is friendly, humorous and makes the training that much more enjoyable.”

Product development – master the game

Last week we were in the zone… the “Product development” zone. For a whole week EPAM's focus and energy were mainly on sessions and workshops about products, business and success. Brilliant minds from all around the globe shared their fascinating experience and knowledge, teaching those - hungry and eager to develop great products and conquer the world. My humble contribution was a workshop, dedicated to Product owners, and everybody interested in improving their mindsets and knowledge about great products’ development, marketing and business success.

The participants had to design their own product from scratch, elaborating vision, roadmap, backlog and strategy, and then present it to ask for feedback and decide on changes or even a complete pivot. As usual, I will be sharing some of the content we covered below.

Starting with a research presented by Bull Gross on the ‘Top factors for company (and product) success.’ It covers the inconvenient truth – no money, idea, or business model could guarantee product’s success, nothing can save you if the timing is not right and the execution is bad.

Moving to Peter Teal’s ideas and beliefs “All happy companies are different – each one earns a monopoly by solving a unique problem.” At the same time “All failed companies are the same – all of them failed to escape competition.”

Discussing and elaborating on Michael Porter's generic strategies (on business and product development).
- Cost Leadership – targeting broad market by offering the lowest possible price.
- Differentiation – targeting broad market and providing unique product and service. Success comes as your clients would be happy to pay premium to use your products.
- Cost Focus – targeting a niche market and offering the lowest possible price.
- Differentiation Focus – producing unique features for a niche market. Strong brand loyalty among customers should be top priority.

On the topic of the ‘effective feedback’ it is important to never be satisfied with a surface-level feedback. Dig deeper, observe hidden feedback and ask precise questions to uncover the truth. Observe your product’s users very carefully. Are they excited, when playing with your product? How do they use the features? What do they spend money on?

Learn to ask laser-sharp questions
- What exactly did you like about the product, and why?
- Which feature are you going to start using immediately?
- What is your main issue / pain-point?
- What about it made you feel ‘wow’?

The ‘Agile planning onion’ could be a trap for the inexperienced Product owner. If you notice most of your day, energy and effort go towards solving mundane issues, problems and dramas – you might be losing the big picture in mind. And the vision should be your top priority and you are the person to be reminding and driving everybody, every day, every hour and minute towards achieving it.

The people in the group were fantastic - active, full of energy and willing to learn, get better and kick ass with their products. We all had a lot of fun - designing, scoping and executing on products... to master the game of product development.

Agile and Scrum training for the future generation

Renovated building, infrastructure, completely refurnished and equipped with modern hardware. Welcome to the new Professional High School for Computer Programming and Innovations in Burgas.

Myself and Smilen were commissioned to deliver Agile and Scrum training for 120 fresh students.

It was intensive, but engaging and we all had a lot of fun. We presented very little, mainly about Scrum values and how we use them @EPAM and our teams. The main event was a workshop to encourage the students to use the Scrum framework and produce real value and products in a couple of short sprints.

Let the pictures speak

Mastering ScrumMastering

‘I am playing a bear attacking ‘poor Tsanko’ (while he is pretending scared), Georgi is a hunter to hunt the bear. The rest of the trainees improvise on different roles: a pickpocketer is trying to rob Tsanko at the same time and another tourist is taking photo of us to complete the picture… It’s all part of the improv ‘Still picture’ game, included in the ‘Thinking outside of the box module’… and we had so much fun, creating scene after scene, after scene…’

It’s been amazing six weeks. Together with Bogoy Bogdanov we delivered ‘Mastering ScrumMastering’ training @EPAM BG

The training (in workshop format only) is complete focused on improving the skills of the participants and consists of 95% practice to 5% theory. No lectures, no ppts, no long and boring talks – just gamified challenges to improve skills in the following areas:

• Communication
• Coaching & Mentoring
• Agile team dynamics
• Delivering talks

Our main goal was to innovate a training encouraging everybody to practice:

• Body language & paraverbal communication
• Soft skills, building emotional connection & rapport
• Coaching and mentoring
• Organizing Scrum events and ensure they run smoothly + facilitation skills
• Removing impediments efficiently
• Influencing decisions
• Presentation skills + teaching techniques (engage the audience)
• Creativity and thinking outside of the box

Each training day, a different topic was covered:

• Starting a new team & persuasion
• Coaching. One-to-One coaching
• Team level coaching & mentoring (Daily standup)
• Team level coaching & mentoring (Scrum events)
• Talks: deliver to engage
• Improvisation in Agile (Thinking outside the box)

And it worked amazingly well. The participants outdone themselves, had a lot of fun, and performed on top of their abilities in each session.

The feedback was also very positive (hopefully we would be able to share the video feedback too):

• 'Fun, engaging, different points of view, a lot of practice'       
• 'Very interactive, full of funny moments, very dynamic & interesting approach'
• 'We covered different topics but not strictly following a traditional way of training. We were put into different situations, where we had the chance to challenge ourselves and improvise'

To enjoy more pictures check the EPAM post.

Empower your decisions

(images by EPAM Bulgaria)

Last Thursday I did a talk as part of the lunch & learn initiative at EPAM, on topic I’ve been curious about for years: “Empower your decisions”. In 21st century we have so many opportunities, so many options and so many decisions we are eager to make, often just to feel frustrated later when we couldn’t put the necessary effort into them to get any of the benefits. Healthy living, working out regularly, new business or hobby, great relationship, or even getting rid of bad habits like smoking – all of those are important decisions, and if empowered would significantly improve our lives.

Preparing for the talk I did a lot of research but mainly relied on my experience as a coach and mentor to provide the audience with successful strategy, hints, tips, and most important: way of thinking and attitude.

1. On 11.02.1990 James ‘Buster’ Douglas defeated the ‘Iron’ Mike Tyson, the fight became the biggest upset in boxing history. When asked how he managed, Buster Douglas started crying and told the story of the last 6 months. His mother got sick and entered a hospital. She was worried about the upcoming fight, and Douglas promised her he is going to defeat Mike Tyson. And about 20 days before the fight his mother passed away. Douglas was ruined and what left for him was only to fulfill a promise to a dying parent.

The lesson we learn from the story is: behind every decision there is a ‘Why?’, and if you don’t know what your ‘why’ is or if your ‘why’ is not strong enough, your decision will just become a failure. Just like Buster Douglas, who managed to defeat ‘the monster’, only to lose miserably 8 months later when he was demolished by Holyfield and defeated in just 3 rounds. Douglas simply did not have his ‘why’ anymore.

2. Interesting statistics were proven in the USA, concerning patients with cardiological problems. Many of them already undergo expensive and dangerous procedures. In a last attempt to save the patients the doctors tell them they exhausted the medical options and if they don’t change their diet and lifestyle drastically they are going to die. Surprisingly, only one out of ten patients managed to change their lifestyle (long-term), even in the face of death. The habits our brains developed fort years are proven to be very difficult to destroy and replaced with new once.

The strongest possible weapon is to strengthen our curiosity to support us on getting out of our comfort zones more regularly. Remember, when we were little children our curiosity drove the day, not our habits. Get curious about something new and do something new to train yourself to get out of comfort zones regularly, this will make your brain less resilient on making difficult decisions and turning them into reality.

3. ‘No decision is still a decision’
Looking at donorship consent survey from 2003 across EU countries a loop in human beings’ decision making is clearly visible. In a situation where the decision is complex we tend to stick to the default decision and make ‘no decision’. The countries with 90%+ consent have a survey checkbox ‘check here if you would like to opt-out’ and countries with about 10% consent have the survey checkbox ‘check if you would like to opt-in’. In both cases people tend not to check the box as the decision is far too complex, and they just go with the default option. But ‘no decision is still a decision’, and it’s a clear example how we let others decide our fate.

4. ‘A diet dies in the supermarket, it doesn’t die in the kitchen’
Temptations and distractions are all around us. The marshmallow test, with little kids attempting to predict who will be more successful in life, clearly shows that our willpower is no match for our instincts. The lesson learned is to stay literally far away from distractions and temptations, contradicting with our decision. If you want to quit smoking – don’t get nearby stores selling tobacco, or colleagues who would take you for a smoke. If you decide to work on your new business idea turn off your phone, to avoid risking distraction by your friends.

5. Perfectionism is the death of decision making
We all live in a society where mastery and perfection are craved and desired. In school we compete for better grades, as well as in the university, then in our work environment we are trained to be as perfect and efficient as possible. And when we want to make an important decision we usually start by researching, then communicating with friends and relatives, planning… and postpone the action. In fact, preplanning the whole journey would most certainly scare our brain off and it will find a way to discourage us from even trying.

‘How did you manage to outrun/outswim the others?’ they asked the top athletes and the answer was simple ‘I never allowed my brain to see the whole distance – it will just scare and paralyze me, I only allowed it to see the next minute, the next couple of meters, the next step.’ The lesson learned is ‘Think only one step ahead.’

6. Why do we procrastinate?
Let’s admit it: we all procrastinate. It seems to be a response in our ‘psychological immune system’. Our brain is permanently stressed and when we are to introduce more stress (by let’s say deciding to work out regularly) it refuses, by gently delaying the execution of the decision… if possible forever.

The cure for procrastination is to get started: ‘Act small – act now’. Trick your brain by promising yourself only 5 min. work out, working on your new business or doing whatever you decided. Then try to enjoy the process, most of the people go beyond the 5 min. as it is easier for the mind to keep up the state it is already in, than change it. Nevertheless, be honest to yourself and make sure you do not burn out. Stop if you start feeling tired or disengaged and need your willpower to push you over. Then continue on the next day (just for 5 min. again). You are building a long-term habit that way.

7. Use your body
Human beings, we are much more physiological creatures than psychological. Usually in a process of decision-making we sit in front of our computers in the worst possible posture. Sitting for hours has many negative impacts and is deadly to decision making. Instead take a 10-min. walk outside, breathe some fresh air, put your hands in the air, jump a little bit, do some stretching. You will immediately feel empowered and capable of acting and achieving. You will feel energized and ready to conquer, build and create. Use your body always when you want to empower yourself.

Those are the top 7 lessons to help you empower your decisions and turn them into reality. Would be great if you share what do you think and if you have more to add in the comments below.

Business storytelling

'The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller.'
- Steve Jobs

Hi guys, it was great to attend a storytelling workshop (@EvgeniMitev) and would be sharing my notes below:

I. Basic rules and structure

• Should have mystery and unexpected ending.
• Hunger for dramatic event, conflict and twist.
• Share some wisdom in the end.

'Our personal stories are subject to plotting laws.'

II. High view

• Convey  knowledge, info and values through story.
• Need to inspire on all levels.
• Not everything could be communicated by images .
• The resource of time is more valuable nowadays - to hold attention.

Ask yourself:

• Why do I want to communicate something?
• What do I want to communicate?
• How do I want to communicate it?

When you read something, you read it with your own tone of voice.

Attitude:

• I'm eager to tell you
• You won't believe what happened to me
• I would not tell everybody (create trust)

Attitude is very important. If the intent is not honest, it will be detected. Incongruence is easy to catch. You need to believe what you tell, you need to convey identity and personality. The need for a cause is important. To create context is crucial.

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Good exercise is  the elevator pitch: spark interest in under 30 secs.

Mission, vision, values have to be communicated properly.

Get feedback and learn from mistakes/difficulties.

'Facts and numbers do talk ... but facts and numbers can't inspire people.'

Don't just show the numbers! Tell the story. Data need context and story, imagination and soul.

Storytelling activates both left and right hemispheres of the brain.

III. Forms

• Insights.
• Open-ended stories.
• Serious games - to be used in business environment (online or offline).
• Could be a case study, and challenge the participants.
• Personal stories with key emotion.
• Jokes. The humor introduces surprise - that's why the brain react good on it.

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The idea of the story is to create cycle:

'Inform - inspire - provoke action - get feedback - provoke change/transformation'

IV. Tools

Canvas and basic structure:

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Star Wars is amazing example of good storytelling. The structure is:

1. Show the worst moments, what happened and how bad it was. It brings the power of context.
2. From bad to worse paradigm. Has to be really well described.
3. Action - conflict, struggle, pain.
4. Resolution - good or bad ending. 

RISK is what is important.

'Each action in risk creates value'

• Stories could end without resolution, just getting worse and finish.
• Many authors use structured approach - practicality and results.
• Reframing is a good technique to be used with difficult situations.
• Deframing, also used: zoom in - zoom out.
• Creating context is very important - may use story cube dice to create context.

V. Skills

• Ask  good questions.
• Listen carefully in order to tell good stories.
• Simplicity and clarity in storytelling.
• Empathy (it's all about emotions).
• Know your weaknesses and use them them to puzzle yourself and the audience.

VII. Guidelines

• Write down interesting stuff happening around you (also jokes, strange situations).
• Have to notice and be radically honest.
• Simplicity - make your stories simple to comprehend.
• Talk about and convey your values.
• Aim for greatness. Teach yourself the difference between good and great.
• Be vulnerable and honest. Share mistakes, fails, challenges. 

• Research your inside monologue. What does it, what is the tone, who of you inner characters talks at different moments.
• Change the story you tell to yourself.
• Share the turning moments in your life.
• Write down the wisdom out of them and reformulate all useful actions.
• Gather images which touch you. (they show your authenticity - what is important for you)
• Research an image bank to investigate how the 'searching, labeling and tagging' works.

Account Management or how to be a great Account Manager

This article is part of my presentation and training I do for account managers. So let’s dive into the deep immediately.

Account Manager – Primary goals

Your two main primary goals are happy customers and completed customers projects in that particular order. Happy customers are extremely important, because even if you deliver a perfect project when the customer is not happy for any particular reason he/she is not going to form a long-lasting relationship with your company.

Top 5 Account Management rules

- Plan, Plan, Plan.
The account manager needs to plan the execution of the project (even before the first call with the customer). Also he/she needs to plan some back-up scenarios if something goes wrong. This way the account manager ensures the smooth execution of the project.

- Befriend your customer and keep close distance.
Customer who is your friend will collaborate and thus support you to finish the project.

- Create timeline/strategy and also deadlines including the tasks for the customer.
Part of account manager's planning is a checklist/task-list and timeline of the project itself.

- Create the project specifications document and send for development.
Once the account manager has enough information about the project he/she should elaborate the project specifications and send the project into design and/or development stage.

- Keep track of the Project history into Task/Projects list and CRM system.
It is mandatory for the account manager to keep record of the Project history for his/hers reference and also to generate reports for the customer and the superiors.

Top 5 Account Management mistakes

- Do not call back or return e-mails back to the customer.
The account manager should always call back and return e-mails to the customer. This is the way to establish a good connection between both of the parties.

- Do not plan. Just wait for the things to happen all by themselves. Do not take ownership of the project.
Half of the account management duties are concerned with planning… the other half is managing customers :).

- Do not inform the customer regularly for the execution of their project.
The customer should always be informed about how the project goes. And it is important to inform the customer even when there are only good news.

- Often go above the terms in the contract to make the customer happy.
A situation like this will happen to the account manager sooner or later. All additional work the customer is requesting should be discussed with supervisor and then it should be decided if the work should be done at no additional cost.

- Store negative emotions. Forget that this is just a business.
Sometimes everything goes wrong and the customer is very unhappy. At this point the customer is sometimes mean or very harsh with the account manager. But the account manager should always remember that it is just a business, and should not take it personally.

Top 5 Account Management challenges

- Ignorant/indifferent customers.
Ignorant customers who are ready to learn are not a problem, but indifferent customers who do not support the project and do not provide the materials/information on their end may even fail the project.

- Wrong rough estimation of the project.
That’s a very bad situation for the account manager when it happens. Usually this should be escalated immediately and the project should be returned to sales to be estimated and sold properly.

- Delays in the design and development of the product/project.
This could always happen. Though, a good account manager should have planned some additional time in the project/account plan to ensure some time shifts are possible.

- Major changes after the project is released live.
The customer just got his/hers project live and realized that’s not what they wanted. If the changes are significant, the issue should be escalated by the account manager and a decision should be made by a superior.

- Clients/Projects that are just too much pain in the ass.
We all know those kinds of people that would do anything to ruin our day. But it is even worse for the account manager to have such a customer because he/she needs to complete the project. As always stay professional and avoid any confrontations and pointless chat with the customer – just stay focused on finishing the project.

Top 5 Account Management advantages

- The complete project happens with the account manager.
It is fantastic to see how a piece of paper (contract) turns into a real, finished and great product. It is even better when the account manager knows he/she is the person, mainly responsible for this transformation.

- Account managers create connections.
Many customers + many projects = many connections. If the customers are happy with the account manager’s work they could help advancing his/hers career and also they could be useful in many other situations.

- Every new customer/project is a new challenge.
And new challenges are great and always welcomed.

- Developing many skills.
The account managers need to have knowledge and skills in everything – design, programming, plans, marketing, seo, communications, leadership, etc… It is great to be a good “jack of all trades”.

- Account managers are better looking than the rest of the team.
It is simply a fact :)